Stakeholders clashing in a meeting? Here's how you can take control and turn the tide towards a more productive discussion.
During a recent Stakeholder Management and Difficult Conversations session with RHB, we delved into the challenge of managing tense discussions with different stakeholders from various departments.
When each stakeholder comes with their own agenda, how do we keep the conversation productive? Sheila Heen and Douglas Stone, in their book "Thank you for the feedback," emphasize the importance of "process moves" or the ability to direct challenging conversations. This skill can be invaluable in any organization.
To illustrate, let's envision a scenario where two stakeholders are at odds. Here's a sample of how you can steer the conversation towards a more productive outcome:
You might start by saying, "I see that both parties care deeply about this project, and each of you has valid points. However, our discussion seems scattered right now, and we risk losing sight of some important ideas.
May I act as the secretary to ensure that all critical points are noted? Are we in agreement?"
Once everyone agrees, you can continue, "Excellent! Now, let's have Datuk Seri Smith speak first. We all need to agree to listen without countering or reacting. In return, Datuk Seri Smith, can we agree to extend the same courtesy when it's Josie's turn? I will be jotting everything down to ensure we're all on the same page."
Should anyone interrupt, respond with, "That's a valuable point, Josie, but this isn't the right moment. I'll note it down so we can delve into it later."
Once everyone has spoken, recap the main points: "Let's review the key points to ensure I haven't missed anything."
Once all parties agree on the recap, propose a brainstorming session: "Based on my notes, it appears we all want the same outcome. Let's take turns brainstorming compromises to meet each party's criteria. Josie, would you like to start?"
By adopting this strategy, we can navigate challenging conversations effectively, fostering understanding and collaboration among stakeholders.
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